Monthly Archives: October 2015

Death and Life

It came quickly, ravaging, consuming. With a sickening sound, it landed. Death had come to devour this world. He rose in all his dark glory, cloak spreading across the land. Everything his shadow cloth touched died. The more he destroyed, the larger he grew. Until his darkness covered the entire planet. Death’s form was the size of a mountain. He had devoured every living thing. Raising his arms to the gray sky, a wicked smile caressed his face. Another world was lost. He summoned his cloak to his feet. Rose the dark power up his form, high into the sky. Gave one last grin. He plunged the evil forces straight into the core of the planet that had once been so full of life. Mere seconds passed. The world exploded into a million pieces, scattering into unlit space. His job was done. Now to spread Death to another section of the universe.

It came slowly, flickering, hopeful. With a melodious sigh, it took form. Life had come to restore the annihilated world. She materialized in all her soft, golden glory. The skirt of her ethereal dress flowing about her bare feet. A warm glow radiated off her form. Life was the size the situation required her to be. She would restore the living things. Silently walking among the black space, she touched the dull fragments. A smile graced her. Another world would shine. She continued throughout the blast radius. Tenderly brushing her hand against every last rock from the destroyed planet. Gave another smile. When she touched the pieces, a glow started at their centers. Mere seconds passed as she surveyed the space filling with light. The million pieces began twinkling. Her job was finished. Now Life had given new stars to another section of the universe.


Haiku Compilation

A song is my soul
Meaningful words start fires
The love of music

Music in my ears
I dance all around the room
Effect of pure joy

A pitch black cloth spreads
Countless fire balls held fast
The night has fallen

Fireflies dance by
Fill the air with emotion
Magic of the night

Our darkest hour
Evil consumes a black heart
Maliciously bane

An endless abyss
Item skilled in pulsing life
Beating of humans

Love joy peace hope fine
The greatest of these is love
Find someone worthy

Two will become one
A selfless trust built on love
Hearts need affection


Black Ice and Demise

Just because I wear mask doesn’t mean I’m hiding. Just because I look completely different from my usual self doesn’t mean I’m ashamed of who I really am. Just because I wear black doesn’t mean I’m mourning. And just because I was trained in the way of the ninja doesn’t mean I’m an assassin.
But everything I’m trying to prove right is wrong. I am trying to hide. I am ashamed of my real self. I am mourning. And I am an assassin.
I am Black Ice.
And true to my name, I can be hard to see. Occasionally, my invisibility is great enough, I can’t find myself. I’m left wandering through the world, trying to find my true self. All the while wondering if my new identity can be trusted.
Frankly, I don’t trust anyone. Especially myself. That is, until he showed up. He’s the one person I can feel myself trusting.
He found me one of the times I returned to Japan. He dropped in and fought off a mercenary I had been battling. I’ve let him follow me ever since.
He’s tall and well-muscled. With large, strong hands. He would need them with that heavy medieval sword he packs around. No shirt. Black pants and shoes. Hooded cloak covering his right side at all times. It’s blood red and ripped. I assume from countless battles. His face remains pitch black under the hood, and I assume he also wears a mask by the white eye covers.
He never speaks. Doesn’t motion. Never uses body language. I know not where he’s from. Don’t know why he chose to follow me. Don’t even know his name.
I wanted to name him Red Shadow, but he’s not ninja. His fighting style makes that clear. I call him Demise, for whoever he chooses to swing that double-edged sword on is sure to meet their death. And if he was to stay with me, he needed an assassin’s name.
But he’s not exactly an assassin. The only people I know he’s killed are those that had been hired to kill me. But he is Demise. As I am Black Ice. I’m an assassin with a silent guardian. So those that seek either of our lives may be warned. You will meet a cold death at the end of our blades.


Haunting Lullaby

I sit in the dark
Alone with my tears
No one could know
Of how much my heart fears

The lonely road up ahead
Keeps me on the run
I lie on my bed
Slowly coming undone

No one can hear my silent voice
Saying how I’ve made my choice
To give up and die
So no more would I cry

I guess heroes have their turn
And everyone will perish
Well that’s what they say
So hold on and cherish
The little things

But no one can hear my silent voice
Saying how I’ve made my choice
To give up and die
So no more would I cry

I try to keep on living
Like everything is fine
But I can’t fake much longer
Where is the God divine

And just where are you now
While I pray for you to take me
Up into the clouds
So I can live in a tear-less city

Where are you now
While I wish for someone to take my life
Just so I can get out
Of the things that cause endless strife

Can you really hear me

It seems no one can hear my silent voice
Saying how I’ve made my choice
Just to give up and die
So no more would I cry

Are you really listening

This was a real post for me, and it was hard for me to title this. I found this buried in some old papers. It was something I wrote several years ago, when I was battling my worst depression yet. To this day, I remember very clearly writing it. I was on my bedroom floor, in the dark, weeping immensely, feeling abandoned. It played out as a song in my head. For me, it was a haunting lullaby. Depression hit me hard in my teenage years, and no one helped me through it. They thought it was “just a phase.” I was left to my own devices, which did me more harm than good. Somehow, I pulled through. And…it still hits me in waves. I just know I don’t want to end up back where I once was, so as I writer, I’m releasing what I wrote, releasing the feelings. Releasing everything that threatens to pull me back into the dark pit….


Lament

“If you love something, let it go.” I don’t know how many times I’ve heard this. How many times I’ve disregarded it. How did it make any sense? If you love something, you should never let it go. You should cherish it. I suppose, now, I understand the phrase. Came to terms with the meaning. Yes, cherish who and what you love. Cherish everything. But love is many things. It keeps us bound yet keeps us apart. Keeps us strong yet weak. Keeps us happy yet sad. Love is so much more than four letters. More than any word can ever describe. The most important quality of love is un-selfishness. Giving your heart and soul to another. Putting them above yourself. Yet, sometimes their needs require you to sacrifice them. That’s where the opening phrase comes into play. Sometimes, love requires us to do the unthinkable: setting what we love free. There can be consequences if we don’t. Watching them slowly fade, become distant. Become resentful, spiteful. Attacking everything they can. We want to be selfish and desperately hold on to them for our sake, I know. I know all too well. But sometimes–they’re hard times–but sometimes we have to let go. Let what we love be free. It hurts. Man, it hurts. In the end, it will turn out for the best. In the end, what we love will finally and truly be happy. I understand that now. I know I will realize what I’ve done, and the wound will reopen…but I must remind myself it’s all in love. I’m letting go because of love. Even as I write, I cry. It does feel like a piece of me is gone. One that can never be replaced. The only thing I know to do is fill the hole with the knowledge that what I love is happy. I couldn’t provide the happiness that was needed. Somehow, it will all be okay though I let go. It’s bittersweet. And it’s all because of love.


Mirror, Mirror

I sit on the bed
Alone in the light
Then I hear the tapping
That always familiar rapping
Try tuning it out as I might
It’s never just in my head

I decide giving in
Against all my heart speaks
With everything it knows
Everything my brain shows
My emotions turn meek
Because I know how it’ll end

I creep down the eternal hall
Only getting the tapping stopped
That comes from the bathroom mirror
The glass turns everything clearer
An image of me appears cropped
With my back hung on the wall

I see a grotesque picture
An ugly face I see as mine
The revolting double makes me cry
Sends me forever on the fly
As I balance a thin line
Searching for a mental cure

I know it’s mere depiction
Of how I view my own
It leaves me stressed
Never fails leaving me depressed
Fashioning faults known
Of my pitiful condition

I realize I can take it no longer
Destroying myself inside out
Then something begins happening
Something my heart starts snapping
My thoughts no more will cloud
For the real me I hunger

I decide taking a stand
One against illusionary hate
Against that bathroom mirror
The glass making everything clearer
What is needed is a clean slate
One forged by my hand

I fist the distorted reflection
The portrayal falling like cards
Clinking to the cold surface
Landing in their rightful place
Only leaving a few shards
A beautiful me in the section

I sprawl on my bed
At home in the light
Never do I hear the tapping
Nor the incessant rapping
Because I had used my might
Bringing peace to heart and head


(Side Note)

Hello, everyone! I have some exciting, or, rather, not-so-exciting news. Regardless of how you take this, I have acquired a Facebook page for my author self. Gives me a chance to communicate with all of you. If you feel so inclined, you may friend me on Facebook under Rose Fae. I have the same butterfly fairy picture that I have for the profile picture here on my blogs. I shall try to keep it updated daily with new ideas, blog info, and other little tidbits. Thank you!


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