Haunting Lullaby

I sit in the dark
Alone with my tears
No one could know
Of how much my heart fears

The lonely road up ahead
Keeps me on the run
I lie on my bed
Slowly coming undone

No one can hear my silent voice
Saying how I’ve made my choice
To give up and die
So no more would I cry

I guess heroes have their turn
And everyone will perish
Well that’s what they say
So hold on and cherish
The little things

But no one can hear my silent voice
Saying how I’ve made my choice
To give up and die
So no more would I cry

I try to keep on living
Like everything is fine
But I can’t fake much longer
Where is the God divine

And just where are you now
While I pray for you to take me
Up into the clouds
So I can live in a tear-less city

Where are you now
While I wish for someone to take my life
Just so I can get out
Of the things that cause endless strife

Can you really hear me

It seems no one can hear my silent voice
Saying how I’ve made my choice
Just to give up and die
So no more would I cry

Are you really listening

This was a real post for me, and it was hard for me to title this. I found this buried in some old papers. It was something I wrote several years ago, when I was battling my worst depression yet. To this day, I remember very clearly writing it. I was on my bedroom floor, in the dark, weeping immensely, feeling abandoned. It played out as a song in my head. For me, it was a haunting lullaby. Depression hit me hard in my teenage years, and no one helped me through it. They thought it was “just a phase.” I was left to my own devices, which did me more harm than good. Somehow, I pulled through. And…it still hits me in waves. I just know I don’t want to end up back where I once was, so as I writer, I’m releasing what I wrote, releasing the feelings. Releasing everything that threatens to pull me back into the dark pit….

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