Looking Up

They call me a dreamer
Reprimand me for gazing at the stars
Keeping my head in the clouds

They tell me to stay grounded
To always look down

But I will never stop looking up
Never stop watching the sky

I may be a dreamer
I’ll never lose my sense of wonder
I’ll make sure I stay in the clouds
Make sure my eyes see the stars
Feel heaven’s wind on my face
Relish in the sun’s warm shine

I’d much rather be caught looking up
Than be stuck looking down

Advertisements

Day 6: Game of Thrones

Obviously, this dragon isn’t from Game of Thrones. I know I’m probably going to get a lot of crap for this, but I hate Game of Thrones. It’s not just the show; I find George R. R. Martin to be a very despicable man. If you like the show, that’s fine. I’m not going to argue about it. So instead of doing a dragon from Game of Thrones (they’re wyverns, by the way), I chose to do Maleficent in dragon form. I always loved her since I was a child. And, I can’t lie, it was mostly because of her green fire.

Introduction to Smaugust

Happy Freebie Friday, everyone! The past couple of days were lack of posting for the simple fact of I’ve been drawing. I found out Wednesday there’s a daily dragon drawing challenge for the month of August. Hence, Smaugust. I’m not sure if I’ll be drawing today because I have a lot to do, but I wanted to post the first two I’ve done.

Day 1 was “red dragon.” This worked out perfectly because I’ve been meaning to redesign the bust for the dragon form of my main antagonist in my novel I’m writing. His name is Clint, and he is a real A-hole for the sake of being one. Years ago, when I drew his fully body, he was actually the first dragon I had seriously drawn. I’ll put it below for reference. I’m actually very pleased with how his head turned out, even if I rushed the shading so I could get him done before natural light ran out.

20180801_200423

IMG_3189

Day 2 was “baby dragon.” This was yet another perfect opportunity. I had drawn the outline for the image below quite a few months ago. I absolutely love chubby baby dragons, and I made sure to do the same with baby Skrekk. (Even though she wasn’t part of the challenge, I posted adult Skrekk below for comparisons. I thought I had posted her before, but I was mistaken.) Skrekk (Norwegian for “horror”) is very special to me because of her way of creation. Many, many years ago, I had a night terror…demon, essentially, who plagued me even into waking hours. I’ve written about it a few times. This nightmare made me scared of the dark, scared of my own mind. It drove me to near insanity.

One night in a dream, I had enough of it stalking me. I was too exhausted to keep running from it. To tired to keep being afraid. In my lucid dream, I knew that feeling of it being behind me. My spine still crawls thinking about it. But I was done. I turned around to face it, and I said, “leave me alone.” It stared at me, so I pointed and simply said, “go.” It didn’t leave. It shuddered and basically melted until a baby dragon had been revealed. I had defeated my nightmare. In turn, I was rewarded with the most adorable creature.

For my fiction, Skrekk is Aura’s dragon. However, before she became Aura’s dragon, she was her worst nightmare. I, of course, interposed my reality into my fiction. Skrekk is the last of her kind, and in efforts to protect her, a well-meaning magician cast a spell on her. Her species is more prey-acting than predatory. She mainly eats fruits, only resorting to meat if she needs to. Although, she does have her own defense. She’s brightly colored for a reason; she’s saying, “I’m toxic! If you eat me, you will die!” Anyway, the magician’s spell was supposed to gather natural materials around her to make her look less like prey. It didn’t turn out so well. Lo and behold, she eventually became an amalgamation of creature bones, dwarven machinery, and a tar-like substance. It wasn’t until Aura faced her fears did she find a baby dragon underneath it all who needed a home.

20180802_183256

20170826_123839

Winds of Change (Revised Edition)

“Change is a neutral event, but how we view it turns it into a positive or negative event.” (I’m fairly certain I made this up on my own, but I never know anymore.)

Mondays suck. I think we can all agree. It’s one of the reasons why I never end up posting for “Memoir Monday.” Heck, the last time I posted on Monday was back in June. I did go back and reread it. Let me tell you, the cringe factor was real…I didn’t even make it through the whole post, so I will promptly apologize for that monstrosity. I’m sorry; I shouldn’t write personal posts when I’m emotional.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way:

Of course, I’ve currently been dealing with large amounts of change. It’s been scary; it’s been good; it’s cost some time and brainpower. Do we ever really stop changing, though? In all honesty, I would hope not. I never want to be “stuck” with an area in my life.

As a creative person, I inherently hate routine. I need that spontaneity in my life to keep me sane. Whether it’s going somewhere new on the weekends, taking a different route to work, making a meal I’ve never cooked before. I need fresh, new. It’s the sustenance I crave for the ever-fleeting inspiration.

On the other hand, I like everything to be the same. All the time. Do you see my problem?

We all know change is one of–if not the hardest–things to deal with in life. Sometimes we can easily see what awaits us on the other side, and sometimes we have to blindly stumble through opaque smoke to even get to where we need to go. Sometimes you have time to prepare; sometimes, it happens abruptly.

The abrupt change happened to me a few weeks ago. I got told I was transferring to a new store the day it was my last day. I didn’t even know that day was my last until I had been clocked in for ten minutes. Let me tell you, it sucked. I had no time to say goodbye or even process what was happening. I was completely blindsided. And you know what? It turned out to be okay. I’ve been at my new store for four weeks now, and I work in a virtually stress-free environment, which has significantly reduced my chronic migraines.

Here’s the thing, though. I could still feel sorry for myself for having been forced out of my previous store. I could be blaming people and fighting them to get back to where I once worked. I could choose to not get along with my new coworkers, but why should I? Like I said, my store change has been more than fantastic. Nerve-wracking, yeah, but I got through it. Many worse things could’ve happened. Why look the gift horse in the mouth, you know?

There’s lots of problems my husband and I have been thrust into the past couple weeks. Oh, the days have been long. However, I’m not going to ramble needlessly about them; I know everyone has their problems. They’re simply another aspect of life, but I keep thinking about how I got transferred, and it’s made me realize something:

Change is a neutral event, but how we view it turns it into a positive or negative event.

Yes, I got transferred, but I’m allowing it to have a positive impact on my life. Okay, yeah, my car is semi-broken and has been for two weeks, but I’m fixing it myself, and I’m learning more about mechanics each and every day. I’ve barely had time to work on my novel recently, but you know what, I had been pushing myself so hard for it, a break won’t kill me. I may have had a close friend push me away, but I’ve never felt so free to be myself, and it’s opened me back up to friends I had been subconsciously ignoring. Sure, my family may be moving away from me, but they’re not going that far, and they’ll be much happier in the long run. I do have some extended family that sucks, but I’ve always needed to master how to let certain things (and people) go, so here’s the perfect learning opportunity.

Change may be scary, yes, but it’s not inherently a bad thing. We say we fear change, but do we really fear the change itself? Or are we more afraid of the unknown? We don’t want our lives to change because we know our lives up until the change occurs. We are creatures who are much more comfortable knowing than not knowing. Because what will happen to us when we don’t know what will happen next? To answer honestly, we don’t know. There’s know way of knowing. But we shouldn’t let that stop us.

None of us can afford to stop living our lives because of fear. Whether it be a phobia (like my severe arachnophobia), uncertainty, lack of understanding, or fear of the unknown or change. Change will always happen. It needs to happen in order for us to grow and become better people. We would never learn anything if we were constantly stuck in the same place. We’d never get to experience new friends, cultures, places. We would never learn, and we would become severely complacent, which leads to unrest and its own stress.

Long story short, embrace the change. Face what you think is a storm head-on because it may be the much-needed rain shower to the droughts of your life. Grab on tightly to the sails and ride your boat through the waves because you may end up in an undiscovered paradise. Even when you feel like you’re sinking, you’re not lost. Just a little delayed. Make a new boat. Find a paddle. And row yourself straight to the other side of the uncertainty.

Only you can control how you react to something. Why make it bad when you can make it good? Remember: change is a neutral event, but how we view it turns it into a positive or negative event.

Sunset After Rain

Rain shower moved past
Sun descends into the West
Heavy curtain of clouds parting
Fluffy undersides tinted peach
The rest glowing pleasant gray
Glimpses of deepening blue sky
A breathing painting revealed
As beautiful as beauty itself
Designed by God’s own hands
Completely changed from morning
Completely changed every night
As identical as snowflakes
Full circle sun spreads warmth
Bathing land in orange and pink
Sky remaining momentarily blue
Intense cotton candy from fairs
Equally delicious to the eyes