Memories of You

Memories of you
Flickering back to life
I’m fading
Further into despair
My heart burns
Yearning for what we had
Looking backward with
Rose-tinted longing
Where did the time go
Why did we change
How did it all fall apart
I hate myself
Thinking of you
Even though I know
What I’m tortured with
For all eternity
I’m fading
Stuck with this life
Burdened with memories of you

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He Liked the Fall

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I wanted to share a sign my late great aunt made for my great-grandpa’s grave. Sorting through old pictures on my phone, I came across this photo. The paraphrasing of Earnest Hemingway reads as follows:

“Best of all, he liked the fall

The leaves yellow on the cottonwoods

Leaves floating on the trout streams

And above the hills the high blue

Windless skies–And now he

Will be a part of them forever”

All I Need is Silence

All I need is silence
The chance to free my mind
The break from the grind
A past life behind

All I need is anger
The release of my rage
The opening of my cage
A terrorizing soul plague

All I need is loneliness
The burning desire to be alone
The memories of what I’ve done
A wrath of an evil clone

All I need is death
The escape of all my pain
The reminder there’s nothing to gain
A constant state of blame

All I need is silence
The noiseless void to call my friend
The darkness creeping in
A haunting of the end

The Magic of the Foggy Glen

Stepping into foggy glen

Searching for inspiration

Experiencing foreign sensation

Brushing hair on end

Rippling goosebumps across the skin

Revitalizing air breathing in

Believing the supernatural kin

Scratching visions in pen

Defying the laws of men

Witnessing ghostly caravan

Observing the driver’s grin

Wondering where the carriage has been

Dreading the skeletals again

Closing eyes and counting ten

Providing brief mind vacation

Returning delightful premonition

Activating long-told superstitions

Proving what can’t be written

Striding along decaying fence

Singing lyrical execution

Melting into dark nation

Becoming another legend

Dancing With the Devil

Have you ever danced with the devil
In the pale moon light
I do most every night
For he goes by many names
Pride, Lust, Greed, Envy, Doubt
And most frequently–Shame

I love dancing with the devil
In the pale moon light
I do it most every night
Not because I have anything to gain
But as I confront my sins
He helps relieve my pain

I know the sound of dancing with the devil
In the pale moon light
And dancing most every night
Seems rather quite insane
But if truth were to be told
I’m honestly challenging my blames

You see, dancing with the devil
In the pale moon light
And dancing almost every night
Unlocking my soul as a windowpane
The dance becomes one of death
As destroying my devil is my aim

Have you danced with your devil
In the pale moon light
Have you danced for even a night
Do you know your devil’s names
So you can confront your sins
Only then can you fight your Shame

Letters to God

I simply don’t understand
I don’t know what I’m doing wrong
I’m supposed to be in Your hands
But I feel like I’m being let down

I don’t know what I can do
I’m always in so much pain
I know I need to look to You
But I can’t help turning away

My heart is broken in pieces
I don’t know how to stitch it
All I need is some kind of reason
To understand why You’re doing this

Even with You I feel lost
I find all the wrong roads
Is my eternal suffering the cost
Of you bearing all my loads

I don’t know if You think I’m strong
I honestly don’t know how I can be
But how can You be wrong
Don’t give me the responsibility

I really feel I’m at my end
Every path lies obstructed
I cannot afford to begin again
Not even with what You’ve constructed

You’re supposed to lead me to still waters
Isn’t that what the Bible says
Then why do You let me continue to falter
All of my meaningless days

How do You expect me to fight
When everything exploits my weakness
I really need You to be my light
Because I’m constantly in darkness

I know I’m a sinful creature
Maybe I need to have more patience
When the world has made me its mocking feature
It’s difficult to find endurance

I don’t know what You want from me
Is it wrong of me to ask
Can You please just let me see
Instead of having me wear a mask

Where are You when I need You most
Am I simply not enough
Even when it’s Your name I boast
Please don’t expect me to constantly be tough

There’s few things I understand
Like why do I keep finding the wrong
Please reassure me I’m in Your hands
Please keep me from falling down

Looking Up

They call me a dreamer
Reprimand me for gazing at the stars
Keeping my head in the clouds

They tell me to stay grounded
To always look down

But I will never stop looking up
Never stop watching the sky

I may be a dreamer
I’ll never lose my sense of wonder
I’ll make sure I stay in the clouds
Make sure my eyes see the stars
Feel heaven’s wind on my face
Relish in the sun’s warm shine

I’d much rather be caught looking up
Than be stuck looking down