Tag Archives: Darkness

Emotions

A bleeding heart
A bleeding mind
Worn boldly on my sleeve
Yet…
The mask still hides all
Nobody cares to see underneath
Nobody seems to hear my pleas
Crying in silence
Tears falling in darkness
Weeping brings anger to others
Though I’m not sure why
So the mask stays
Tears leaving invisible scars
Untraceable self-harm
The world turns a blind eye
Fear takes control
Turns sorrow into paranoia
Am I cursed
Am I the problem
How do I remove the problem
Would others even notice
Should I remove the problem
They still can’t see beyond the mask
While my heart hemorrhages
Both sleeves permanently stained
Blatant, obvious
Wordless suffering
Endless torment
Can nobody see past the facade
My lies of happiness
My dishonest joy
Thousands of fraudulent smiles
To keep others pleasant
So they could never know my true pain
Though I desire for them to dig deeper
A constant conundrum
Of what I think I want
And what I’m not sure of
An exhausting battle
All behind the lighthearted mask
Except my heart
My bleeding heart
Sliced with depression and uncertainty
Blackened by hatred of self
Thickened with envy and lust
For the life I see in others
The grass is greener on the other side
While I forever drown in woe
Brought on by my own misery
I am aware
I am so painfully aware
Of what I do to myself
And yet…
I cannot break the cycle
I’m a poison, a lethal toxin
Killing those around me
Behind this mask filled with laughter
How can they realize it’s me
Nobody suspects what they deem as
The good person
But I will always know
Of who I truly am inside
A mendacious thief of life
A dedicated torturer of self
And a perfect butcher of emotions

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Bones of Saints

A long forgotten marker
From a less memorable time
Weathered by sun and storm
Stone covered in lichen
The symbol barely visible
None know of the secrets beneath
A labyrinth tomb kept away
Hidden from prying eyes
Safe from hands of theft
Though no riches lie below
Only the broken remains of souls
Yellowed bones with chips and marks
Lifeless forms etched with runes
Their story never to be told
Of the day the world collectively bled
Of the day ancient evil awoke
Water and sky became crimson
And no mortal dared stopping it
None except a courageous few
They gathered from around the globe
Uniting as brothers under a common banner
It took the lives of every one
To send the evil asunder
A mutual defeat of both sides
Darkness dragging the men underground
So their legend could never live on
So their names could never be praised
To this day no one can fathom
What transpired so long ago
But the earth will always remember
What was done to save it
That’s why if forever preserves
These deserving bones of saints


Vanish Into the Night with Me

Vanish into the night with me
I will show you what it means to live
Follow the dim path and you will see
What the night can truly give

Delve into the night with me
There is so much you can learn
Knowledge opens many possibilities
The type of power all kinds yearn

Frolic into the night with me
Across darkness we will glide
Moving until we see heartbeats
Until the night no longer lets us hide

Adventure into the night with me
Surely there is something you want to find
Something to make your life meaning concrete
Even though you have lost your mind

Dissolve into the night with me
Allow the ink to lure you further
No matter how much you try to plea
There is no resisting unquenchable desire

Vanish into the night with me
It will be your final destination
A place of eternal rest without fee
The night loves when you are six feet in


My Element

I wanted to be fire
Big, bad, strong
A raging inferno

But I love something else

I love the ocean
Feel at home in a pool

There are other realizations

I tend to be calm
Until the winds of life
Stir me around

I am fluid
Yet lazy as waves
Lapping safe shores

I possess more depth
Than some would give credit

I hide many secrets
And much darkness

I can also be deceptive

On the surface
I may look calm
But deep down
Undercurrents tear me apart

I feel at peace in the rain
Yet flood with tears

I’m not afraid to drown
Whether it be myself
Or one who pushes my limits

Pour toxic waste on me
But I will find a way

I am water

And water always finds a way


Can’t Sleep?

I’ve never had a problem sleeping at nights. Not until recently. For the past week, I swear I’ve heard this scratching sound. But I passed it off as raccoons or such. Too bad I didn’t have a pellet gun.

One particular night was my same routine. Got home from work. Ate dinner. Watched TV. Went to bed. I yawned as I checked my phone. Close to midnight. That was late for me. I paused. Remember when I used to pull all-nighters just to play a video game? That was the price of adulthood, I supposed.

I entered my bedroom and turned off the light. My legs prickled for some reason, and I all but jumped into my bed. Knocking a pillow off the other side. I sighed. Rolled onto my stomach and slid my arm between the mattress and the wall. Something scaly grabbed my arm and pulled. Yelping, I yanked my arm free. Sat in the middle of my bed. What the–? The pillow could stay down there for tonight.

The covers were more inviting anyway. I crawled under them, leaving my shoulders and head exposed as always. The feeling of my arm being touched finally went away. I drifted to sleep. Something tapped my shoulder twice. My eyes flew open. Two more taps. I rolled over. Nothing was there. Except for my fallen pillow. My heart raced. No, there was nothing or nobody there. My pillow must’ve never fallen. That was possible. And I had rubbed my arm against the wall. No big deal. I situated myself again.

After some time, I grew hot. Having the covers off proved too cold, so I resorted to only having one leg out of the covers. Satisfied, I fell asleep. Dreamed of wading through a pleasant beach. Though my dream was sadly interrupted. Stretching, I rolled over. Closed my eyes. Snapped them open again. Was something…licking my foot? Crying out, I kicked hard. Sat up. There was nothing at the end of my bed. I touched my sock-less foot. It was covered in sticky slobber. I didn’t own a dog. Or any pet for that matter. I couldn’t reason this incident in my head.

I was too scared to get out of bed and turn on the lights. Was this some sort of prank? By who? I lived alone. I had no friends. My breathing quickened. No. No, this had to be my imagination. It was too many hours after my bedtime. I had been sleeping lightly. My brain was tired. That was all. After a peptalk, I curled back under the covers. Closed my eyes. But sleep never came. Even though nothing else happened. I sighed. This was old already.

Seeing how I was awake, I opened my eyes. Froze. Two white, glowing orbs peered at me from a corner of darkness. A pair of eyes? My gaze remained transfixed. Until the orbs moved and crept closer. I squeezed my eyes shut. Remained huddled beneath the blankets. A presence hovered at the edge of my bed. I prayed it would be day soon.

I have hardly slept since.


Out

Tears flood the floor
Drown me in suffering
Where is the door
I need out
Out of my mind
Blood flows free
Is this even real
I’m on my knees
Begging for a way out
Out from this bind
Sickness takes hold
Darkness covers me
This charade is old
Please let me out
Out of what makes me blind
My demons give chase
Infect my thoughts
Promise death’s embrace
I must find a way out
Out of the evil kind
Another day comes
Everything loops
Beating me as drums
Is there a way out
Out of this grind
Tears flood the floor
Drown me in suffering
Where is the door
I’m desperate for a way out
Out of my twisted mind


She Who Comes from Darkness

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You know when you have an idea, and you just have to get it down? That’s what happened to me yesterday after I woke up from a nap. I had this idea of a shadow/darkness spirit. She was drawn with graphite, charcoal, and ink. It’s been while since I’ve just drawn from inspiration without any sort of procrastination. There was much joy in this creation. I apologize for the picture quality.


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