“Change is a neutral event, but how we view it turns it into a positive or negative event.” (I’m fairly certain I made this up on my own, but I never know anymore.)
Mondays suck. I think we can all agree. It’s one of the reasons why I never end up posting for “Memoir Monday.” Heck, the last time I posted on Monday was back in June. I did go back and reread it. Let me tell you, the cringe factor was real…I didn’t even make it through the whole post, so I will promptly apologize for that monstrosity. I’m sorry; I shouldn’t write personal posts when I’m emotional.
Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way:
Of course, I’ve currently been dealing with large amounts of change. It’s been scary; it’s been good; it’s cost some time and brainpower. Do we ever really stop changing, though? In all honesty, I would hope not. I never want to be “stuck” with an area in my life.
As a creative person, I inherently hate routine. I need that spontaneity in my life to keep me sane. Whether it’s going somewhere new on the weekends, taking a different route to work, making a meal I’ve never cooked before. I need fresh, new. It’s the sustenance I crave for the ever-fleeting inspiration.
On the other hand, I like everything to be the same. All the time. Do you see my problem?
We all know change is one of–if not the hardest–things to deal with in life. Sometimes we can easily see what awaits us on the other side, and sometimes we have to blindly stumble through opaque smoke to even get to where we need to go. Sometimes you have time to prepare; sometimes, it happens abruptly.
The abrupt change happened to me a few weeks ago. I got told I was transferring to a new store the day it was my last day. I didn’t even know that day was my last until I had been clocked in for ten minutes. Let me tell you, it sucked. I had no time to say goodbye or even process what was happening. I was completely blindsided. And you know what? It turned out to be okay. I’ve been at my new store for four weeks now, and I work in a virtually stress-free environment, which has significantly reduced my chronic migraines.
Here’s the thing, though. I could still feel sorry for myself for having been forced out of my previous store. I could be blaming people and fighting them to get back to where I once worked. I could choose to not get along with my new coworkers, but why should I? Like I said, my store change has been more than fantastic. Nerve-wracking, yeah, but I got through it. Many worse things could’ve happened. Why look the gift horse in the mouth, you know?
There’s lots of problems my husband and I have been thrust into the past couple weeks. Oh, the days have been long. However, I’m not going to ramble needlessly about them; I know everyone has their problems. They’re simply another aspect of life, but I keep thinking about how I got transferred, and it’s made me realize something:
Change is a neutral event, but how we view it turns it into a positive or negative event.
Yes, I got transferred, but I’m allowing it to have a positive impact on my life. Okay, yeah, my car is semi-broken and has been for two weeks, but I’m fixing it myself, and I’m learning more about mechanics each and every day. I’ve barely had time to work on my novel recently, but you know what, I had been pushing myself so hard for it, a break won’t kill me. I may have had a close friend push me away, but I’ve never felt so free to be myself, and it’s opened me back up to friends I had been subconsciously ignoring. Sure, my family may be moving away from me, but they’re not going that far, and they’ll be much happier in the long run. I do have some extended family that sucks, but I’ve always needed to master how to let certain things (and people) go, so here’s the perfect learning opportunity.
Change may be scary, yes, but it’s not inherently a bad thing. We say we fear change, but do we really fear the change itself? Or are we more afraid of the unknown? We don’t want our lives to change because we know our lives up until the change occurs. We are creatures who are much more comfortable knowing than not knowing. Because what will happen to us when we don’t know what will happen next? To answer honestly, we don’t know. There’s know way of knowing. But we shouldn’t let that stop us.
None of us can afford to stop living our lives because of fear. Whether it be a phobia (like my severe arachnophobia), uncertainty, lack of understanding, or fear of the unknown or change. Change will always happen. It needs to happen in order for us to grow and become better people. We would never learn anything if we were constantly stuck in the same place. We’d never get to experience new friends, cultures, places. We would never learn, and we would become severely complacent, which leads to unrest and its own stress.
Long story short, embrace the change. Face what you think is a storm head-on because it may be the much-needed rain shower to the droughts of your life. Grab on tightly to the sails and ride your boat through the waves because you may end up in an undiscovered paradise. Even when you feel like you’re sinking, you’re not lost. Just a little delayed. Make a new boat. Find a paddle. And row yourself straight to the other side of the uncertainty.
Only you can control how you react to something. Why make it bad when you can make it good? Remember: change is a neutral event, but how we view it turns it into a positive or negative event.